Has he been like this all day?

No, he has not been like this all day. It's a question all Nannies get, and kind of side step every time they answer it. If your kid is screaming and whining when you get home, it's not because he has been like that all day. It's not because he's tired, or cranky, or in a bad mood. It's because he knows he can :) After many many years, I have learned this fact. For whatever reason, parents seem to "give in" to the whining much faster than nannies. One parent told me it was because they love their children more than the nanny and can't stand to listen to them cry. I would say no... it's because kids have their parents wrapped around their finger more than the nanny.

When Matthew screams for something, I don't give it to him, no matter what. I don't want him to think that screaming for what he wants will give him the reward of getting it. Granted there are exceptions to this, children who can not talk for instance, can not tell you what they need or want. But a 3 year old who is perfectly capable of telling you he would like down from the high chair, should not be let down because he screams and cries.

One would think that after a year or so that a nanny would start giving into the screaming just like the parents. With nannies I know this is not the case. Maybe this is part of our personalities, and maybe there are nannies who give in, but in general I think parents are worse. I worked for one family for 6 years, even after all that time, the little girl could get what she wanted out of her parents by whining, but knew by then it would not work on me. I make it a point to not let whining work. My mother used to tell me to "pick my battles." I understand this point of view, sometimes you let things slide to deal with the more important stuff. But I think everyone struggles with the whining. Some deal with it by giving the child juice, or snacks, or food right before dinner, or the toy, or whatever they want. I deal with it by making it a point to never give into the whining. In the end I think it dramatically decreases the amount of whining I deal with during the day.

So the answer is, no, he hasn't been like this all day, and won't be tomorrow either.