Shopping Days = Kid Playdays?

So, we headed out for a trip to Olathe/Overland Park today to do some shopping. One of the last things on the list was to try and hit Monkey Bizness or somewhere for the kids to play. When I thought about it I realized this is quite a habit, always trying to hit a mall with a playplace or a gym or McDonald's with a climber. Does everyone do this?

The point of the day really is to get the shopping done, eat out somewhere and just get out of town for the day. Like most times when traveling with kids they are taken into account for everything. You have to eat at a kid friendly place, or the very least a place that at least has a kids menu. Most of the time you end up at a fast food place with chicken nuggets. You don't get to shop around at stores as long as you'd like because the kids get cranky. And there are many more trips the the bathroom, though I have become accustomed to changing a diaper in the back of the van fairly frequently. So you call it a success if you've made it to most of the places you wanted, and got most of the things you set out to get. But then there is this weird guilt that sets in that makes you search out a playplace or park or gym etc. You feel bad for taking them to all the places you needed to go and try and make it up to them by spoiling them with playplaces or mall cookies, or things along that line.

So my question is, is this really necessary? We tend to go somewhere almost every weekend, usually needing to hit walmart or some other store because we live in a little town. Maybe we are a little spoiled and should just suck it up and go to Hoovers more often, but all the same it's become something that happens at least weekly. I think back to my childhood and am pretty sure we didn't get to eat out weekly much less go to playplaces and movies and other fun places. And I don't really feel like I missed out or angry at the times when I went shopping with my parents. I'm sure there was a certain level of complaining and frustration, but at the same time shopping was often fun! As we were walking around today I realized that there is really some quality time spent on these weekend excursions. The kids get more one on one attention than they often do during the week. They chat and talk to you all day instead of encouraging them to go play while you try and get the dishes done, or clean up messes or toys, or work on other things. Matthew got many more "why?" and "what's that?" questions answered. So why do we feel this guilt that we need to take them somewhere? We didn't actually make it to Monkey Bizness today and while it led to a 3 minute meltdown, that was it. Had he not expected to go would he really feel like he had missed anything? We make so many trips just for the kids, going to the pumpkin patch, the park, to see Santa, to do something for their benefit.

On the way home Sarah and I talked about the day and feeling a little guilty that the kids didn't get more time to play. I realized I felt less guilty probably because every other day of the week revolves around them. Our entire schedule revolves around playdates, swimming, storytimes, playing at home, gymnastics, tap, even what we eat. I think I feel less guilty about taking them around shopping and focusing on the adults a little more every once in a while. They had fun, we rode the Carousel at the mall, something that would have been a HUGE treat for me as a child, though they almost expect it. We ate at Panera an McDonalds, they got to ride around in the stroller and carts, watch movies in the van, get pretzels and snacks, pick out birthday plates and favors, look at toys. I think all in all it was a good day.

What about you? Do your trips involve a kid activity? Do you feel guilty if your entire trip revolves around going to walmart and maybe a department store? Do you always add in some extra fun element like an "I'm sorry we went shopping" device?

Television

It's a constant topic of conversation among parents, caregivers, psychologists, doctors, teachers... how much TV do we let the kids watch? It seems so simple but it can be a constant struggle. I've heard a general consensus that kids shouldn't watch more than an hour of tv a day. Does that happen at your house? I'm sad to say that doesn't happen here. As many fun games we play, places we go, toys, crafts, singing, and all the other things we do... we still end up with more than an hour of tv each day. There's this saying "don't let the tv babysit your kids" I'll be the first to admit I do exactly that. It's not because I'm being lazy and not wanting to play with the boys. It's because there are things that need done and having them underfoot isn't helpful. Meals are my primary weekness, especially dinner. About an hour before dinner I put on a show or movie because I know it will entertain Matthew while I make dinner. We have it on more than I'd like, but I rationalize it with the fact that I never put junk on. We watch Adventures in Odyssey, Gerbert, Brainy Baby, and Seseme Street. I record the occasional Ni Hao Kai Lan, and Chuggington as well.

Educational tv has come a long way... but I probably disagree with a lot of people on what qualifies as educational tv. Almost every show out there puts something in it so that it can fall under this category. I do not like most Nick Jr shows. Yes they are educational.... sort of. And I can't tell you what exactly I dislike about these shows... something about them rubs me the wrong way. We watch an occasional Ni Hao Kai Lan... but it's just because it's the least offensive to me somehow. I don't care for the disney shows either. About the best I can find is the PBS shows. What is it about the others that bothers me so much? Maybe part of it is the commercialization. Not only do those channels have worst commercials they make tons of toys and other JUNK. And that's the last thing you need a kid screaming for in the store :)

I debate about how much of tv is a learned behavior. I think some kids are just drawn to it more than others. Matthew will get so sucked into a show, he can literally sit still for an abnormally long time watching some movie or show. Ian on the other hand could care less what is on most of the time, and gets very angry at certain shows when they are on. He is drawn to shows with music, letters and shapes. Matthew will watch just about anything. I keep wondering if Ian will gravitate towards the vegging out or if he will remain not as interested in what is on the tv. My favorite things to put on are things like baby einstein, not because I have this belief that it will make kids smarter, but because it is simply images put to music.

Anyway... Matthew and Ian watch too much tv. They watch probably a total of about 60-100 minutes just while I"m taking care of them during the day... which doesn't count whatever they watch in the evening with their parents. If it would have made a difference I would have made a new year's resolution to watch less tv... but it's part of life. In some ways it helps me keep my sanity too... it's what entertains me in the evenings, living in a small town, with nothing to do, and no one to play games with. How much tv do your kids watch?